Tuesday, February 8, 2011

"What's that smell??"..."Freedom."

While patrolling the isles of Publix, I noticed something both disturbing, and thought evoking...Adult Diapers. But, it wasn't just the fact that people have to wear over sized Pampers that got my gears turning., it was the marketing that Publix decided to showcase on the packaging. The "scenarios" where you would possibly have to wear one of these absorbent pillows is just ridiculous. I'm pretty sure when the "Higher Powers" that are Publix marketing decided on what the packaging should display, they completely forgot they were trying to sell adult diapers. In my opinion, the images make me think of vitamins, or some kind of supplement. Then again, maybe these magical diapers not only save you from messing your shorts, but make you feel like a spry young lad. Either way, it will not distract you from the fact that your bottom will now be encased in urine, or some other questionable bodily fluid. Good luck hitting those numbers Publix.
So, you have time to stop and take a scenery break, but you don't have time to run behind the tree and pee?

 You're camping! Aren't the woods supposed to be Nature's bathroom?? Now, you have to use your stealthiness to dispose of a dirty diaper like you're hiding a dead body. At least we know why you're camping alone...
I get it, you're in a rush to catch your flight, so instead of walking 2 feet to one of the hundreds of bathrooms located at the airport, you're using your 2 hour delay to relax in your comfy chair while urinating on yourself. What makes for a worse flight, sitting in front of a toddler, or sitting next to a grown man in a dirty diaper?

Ok, 1) at least this is the first correct age bracket they've advertised for. 2) On a golf course, I imagine there aren't many options for releasing your fluids, and at that age, you do what you've got to do. 3) Touche Publix..touche.

No one takes painting that seriously that you can't take a 2 minute break to use the restroom. Seriously.

Is your wooden duck that important that you're willing to defile your own pants in order to finish it within a 2 hour time frame? Do you work in a Vietnamese sweat shop?
No one wants a dirty diaper in downward dog right in front of them...

Ok, this guy would NEVER use adult diapers. He's the kind of bad-ass that would rather drop a deuce in his new running shorts, than wear some god awful diaper. That's just false advertisement Publix, you  know that.

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